I just spent about three (3) hours chatting with seven (7) young men ages 18 and 19 about dating. The session was impromptu and started after I picked up my son from a hotel where he had been hanging with his friends for his birthday. The conversation started simple enough with my advising my play nephew to stop dating his girlfriend since they were having too much unnecessary drama–both started college in different locations. I suggested they part ways as friends now and if they find each other again later in life so be it.
After spending three hours with these young men, here’s my dating advice to the young women and men of today between the ages of 18-22.
- Do not continue dating someone if you find you are constantly fighting. It’s over! It’s important for you to learn how to communicate effectively in a relationship. However, you are too young to be in constant turmoil in your love life.
- Do not lay your hands on each other in a violent manner. Respect other people’s bodies, space and humaness. You are too young to spend your life in jail when you could have walked away. Think of your future.
- If either person says no, it means NO!
- Rejection is a state of mind. If the guy or girl isn’t interested, there are plenty of others who are interested. Rejection does not mean you are less of a person. You are special and do not have to try to be popular or try to make someone like you.
- Young women – you are the chooser. Do not do something you may regret later for a guy just to be popular or in hope that he might like you.
- Young men – women are the chooser. Do not do something you may regret later because you forgot she is the chooser.
- If you have a question about how you show up to the opposite sex. Ask someone you trust to provide you with feedback.
- Respect all living things. This includes yourself. Respecting yourself gives you the capacity to respect others automatically.That includes humans, animals and the planet. You are one piece of the puzzle within our worldly system. Your actions reverberate throughout our world.
- Take care of your your spirit. You are of value. Your possessions–clothes, car, etc.–does not determine who you are as a human being.
- Take care of your body. Exercise the muscles, eat healthy and always use a condom.
- Take care of your mind. Keep learning. School may have not been your favorite but learning keeps your mind sharp and helps you live longer.
- Anything you share electronically can be potentially viewed by the public. Anything you share via social media, texts, the internet can potentially come back to haunt you. Think before sharing.
- Karma is real. The energy you put into the world–into others will come back to you in unexpected (and sometimes unpleasant) ways.