I have been coaching a friend through a exasperating situation in her marriage. Her husband of some 25 years was friends with a woman who was a previous co-worker. Of course, there is nothing wrong with women and men being friends and expecially if they are co-workers who have developed a friendship outside of work. That being said…in this case the female friend appeared to have developed an emotional attachment to her husband as evidenced by the content of her emails and text messages. Also, the husband had failed to tell his wife that he was meeting this woman on various occassions and emailing and texting her frequently.
Men and women in committed relationships have to consider the boundaries of opposite sex friendships carefully. That is, if you value your current partner and marriage. We all know of or have participated in friendships where one person developed romantic feelings while the other person did not. Even though you may have your perspective/feelings regarding the relationship clearly defined, you cannot manage or define the other person’s perspective/feelings…and to think you can is unrealistic and foolish.
In this case, the husband was having an emotional affair. He was giving his emotions and time to a woman outside of his without his wife’s knowledge. Why do affairs occur? That’s another story that I’ll share later. I am happy to say that after a lot of communication, forgiveness and removing the other woman from his life they appear to have their marriage back on track.
Check out this link to 7 Signs You Might Be Having an Emotional Affair.